The Rowdy One

Thursday, August 03, 2006

This just in: 36% of Americans are complete, total whack jobs

More than one third of the people in the U.S. believe that the government assisted in the terrorist attacks on 9/11 or took no action to stop them so the U.S. could go to war in the Middle East, according to a Scripps Howard/Ohio University poll.

That is just barely lower than the 38% of Americans who think that the U.S. is withholding proof of the existence of intelligent life on other planets.

Do you know what this means? It means that about 1 in every 3 people you pass on the street are completely out of their gourd! We live amidst millions of people who are in need of more than just confidence in their government. They are in need of their meds.

Given that, serious consideration needs to be given to "adjusting off" this portion of the population when relaying other major polling data. For example, let's say 48% of people report that they believe that America is worse off today than we were five years ago. If we assume that the "36% whack job" contingent would all state that they were worse off, well then, that's really only like 1 in 6 legitimate folks who think that America is worse off now than half a decade ago.

Just think at the unbridled common sense and optimism that would reign if we could make such an adjustment.

The survey also revealed that people who regularly use the Internet, but do not frequent "mainstream" media, are significantly more likely to believe in 9/11 conspiracies. These same folks are probably the ones still waiting for their $1,000 check from Bill Gates while watching "Deal or No Deal."

Gosh, by recently starting this blog have I suddenly become part of the problem?

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  • I wear a tinfoil hat while I read your blog. It protects me.

    By Anonymous Kevin, at 9:53 PM  

  • You pose some interesting observations. Perhaps what you have stumbled onto is further proof that evolution cannot possibly be true. For if it were, the process of natural selection would have eliminated these “whack jobs” long ago. Instead, what we have is clear proof that the intelligence of America is on the decline. I guess it is fortunate for many that they live in America, where it is okay to mill about the masses with only a few marbles rolling around in their gourd.

    By Anonymous Steve, at 8:20 PM  

  • Even more disturbing is that the % of people 18 to 24 who believe 911 is a big conspiracy is a whopping 57% ... if the future of America is a bastion of paranoid freaks we are in serious trouble.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:12 PM  

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