The Rowdy One

Saturday, December 16, 2006

The perfect gift for the your liberal nut friend's children

I thought for sure it was a joke when I first saw this book referenced on another site. But Why Mommy Is A Democrat is, sadly, oh so very real.

The book's website says the book intends to "bring to life the core values of the Democratic party in ways that young children will easily understand ... using plain and non-judgmental language." The 28-page paperback is fully illustrated, using "whimsical squirrels" (I'm not joking) to accompany the text.

The book's pearls of wisdom include:

Democrats make sure we share all our toys, just like Mommy does.

So do Communists. And in the very same way when it comes to managing the country's budget.

Democrats make sure we are always safe, just like Mommy does.

You mean by slashing all weapons and war expenses, repealing the Patriot Act, and stopping recruiting for the military on college campuses? Right on.

Democrats make sure children can go to school, just like Mommy does.

I guess a page saying: Democrats don't want Mommies and Daddies to have a choice in where they send their kids to school didn't sound as appealing.

The website only lists those three pages, but I'm sure they are all equally forthright and "non-judgmental" (which, when used here, must mean "lacking in truth").

Conspicuous by their absence from Why Mommy Is A Democrat were such pages as:

  • Democrats believe the people on the news because they're on TV, just like mommy does.
  • Democrats like spending other people's money, just like mommy does.
  • Democrats born into a low-income, government-run squirrel nest believe "the man" is always keeping them down, just like mommy does.
  • Democrats use schools to indoctrinate children in a collectivist mentality so it's easier to control them later, just like mommy does.
  • Democrats confuse a foreign policy of appeasement with that of safety, just like mommy does.
  • Democrats believe saving the earth is more important than saving babies, just like mommy does.
  • Democrats play politics with other people's safety, just like mommy does.
  • Democrats don't believe you should be allowed to take your religious beliefs to school with you, just like mommy doesn't.

Stand by for excerpts from the forthcoming sequel, "Why BOTH Your Mommies Are Democrats."

Source: Concepts for some of the "missing pages" were excerpted from:

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  • Democrats believe in Mommy's having choice, just like Mommy does and that's why you're actually not my first-born son (or 2nd for that matter).

    By Anonymous Kevin, at 3:31 PM  

  • Just got around to reading this one, since my computer was "dead" for a month. Your
    "Conspicuous by their abscence from Why Mommie is a Democrat"
    lines had me laughing out loud and almost rolling around on the floor!
    Rowdy One's Dad

    By Anonymous, at 5:33 PM  

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